Monday, April 27, 2015

Thanksgiving

When Kelsey asked me to guest post on her blog last month (here), I wrote about a topic very dear to my heart.  Little did I know that God was probably trying to tell me something.

A few weeks earlier, during breakfast, Carter had asked me if I was excited about the baby that was going to be in my tummy.  He was, he said.

The day after Kelsey's post went up, on the Feast of The Seven Sorrows of Mary, again at breakfast, I told the kids how much I loved them.  Then Peter said, "And the baby, too!"

Later that day, I discovered that these little ones know much more than me...they're much less removed from Heaven, I like to think.  And, their joy...their ability to see God in every last detail...teaches me.

So, yes, right around Thanksgiving of this year, we'll be adding
God-willing.

We're thrilled!  This baby was fervently prayed for.  And, while I know another baby will add to our already somewhat crazy days, the love and joy that comes with it will always win.  The knowing that God is entrusting us with another miracle, another one of His precious souls, in order to fulfill our vocations.  The opportunity to deepen our love yet again, for this precious baby, and for Him.

I've mentioned before that others don't always share our joy when they hear of our growing family, and I'm learning to get past that.  I find it really special, though, that we found out about this little one of the Feast of The Seven Sorrows of Mary.  Mary endured such confusion, ridicule, doubt and eventually pain in order to fulfill God's will.  Yet, she said yes, always.  A few unloving comments and misunderstandings are nothing (nothing!) compared to that.  Her example is a light for me, each and every day.

He is giving us another tiny baby, and He will equip us for our journey here...inasmuch as we do our best to get them back to Him.

Yes, Carter, Im excited!  Just as much as I was when I found out we were having you!


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Now, if you have questions or would like to know why we are having another, grab yourself a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and take a glimpse into the heart of our family.

We believe in being open to life.  That's the simple answer.

We believe in what the Church teaches about contraception and about the importance of never severing the pleasurable and procreative aspects of the sexual act (read this too if you want to see what Pope Paul VI predicted about the consequences of the widespread acceptance of contraception).

Do we throw caution to the wind and just allow whatever may happen to happen?  No.  Actually, we spend a lot of time in prayer before coming to a decision to see if having another child is the most responsible thing to do.  We pray.  We talk with our priest.  We determine if we have the mental and physical capacity to bring another child into the world.  And, as a priest told us before, we ask ourselves if we can financially care for another...meaning, can we feed another?  Can we shelter another?  Can we love another?  The answer has always been yes.

Jeremy and I love children.  More specifically, we love our children.  Will you see us losing our minds and all patience at times?  Of course!  Will it always feel like we have everything under control?  Rarely.  Do we get strange looks?  Yes.  Do I worry if other people think I am irresponsible?  Many days.  Do I sometimes long for moments when I'm not being talked to, touched, or needed? More often than I should, I'm afraid to say.

However, right now, we have no reason to not have another child unless that's simply not God's will. And you know what?  We pray and pray for a new baby, and the excitement that comes in seeing a positive test is overwhelming.  But, then, fear can invade.  Sometimes we don't know how we can handle it. Sometimes I remember how badly my anxiety kicks in after another baby comes and how my mental health can take a nose dive in a hurry if I don't take care of it. Sometimes I just don't know that I will be able to respond to another person's not-so-nice comment without crying.

But, then I realize what is happening.  I realize this is one way in which God can completely get my attention.  I care too much what others think of me.  I've always done things and done them well or not at all (not bragging, just letting you in on my personality).  I do not like to fail.  I am a lover of control...self-control.  And honestly, I find myself often only going to God when I have it all together (even then, I'm just fooling myself).

And, in giving us another child, I hear God whisper, "Come to me."  My life is not my own, and with each little baby we are blessed with, I realize it on a deeper level.  I let a little bit more of what others think go.  I acknowledge my desire for perfection and accept just a bit more imperfection.  I give up tiny pieces of control bit by bit, knowing that true peace only comes from giving it all to Him.  It is His will, and with our "yes" to Him, He will provide.

As my stomach was in knots before we decided to go ahead and share the news, Carter came in from outside with a flower in his hand.  Not knowing we were having another baby, he handed it to me and said, "Every flower is a sign from God, Momma." Yes, yes it is.

So, if I were sitting across from you today at Starbucks and was asked to bare my soul, I would tell you this: we love life, in all stages.  We don't know that we will always have a healthy baby.  We don't know if number five is our last.  We might start driving a big van.  We might even homeschool this crew.  You might think I'm crazy.  You might think we are weird.  Maybe you cannot understand why it isn't "enough already."

I can accept that you may never understand where we are coming from.  But, my prayer is that someday you do in every sense.  And, maybe you will not have five children.  Or, maybe deep down you would love that but can't for some reason.  But, what I will say is this...we will always be open to life.  We will always pray about the decision to have another child.  So, in a few years, if number five turns out to not be our last, maybe you can come back here when you're internally questioning why.

As much as I may try to convince you that there is no greater joy than knowing that God is using you as a vessel...as much as I try desperately to convey to you the joy in my soul at the awareness that there is a baby inside...as much as I may want you to know that being open to life is so incredibly freeing...as much as I desperately want to say all of that with a smile on my face serving as a sign of my inward joy, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes it's just easier to be silent and to wish the questions away.  And I'm sorry for that, because you're missing out when I hold back.

Today, though, you get that joy -- right here.

We are having a baby!  He gives us these little souls to make saints of, but truly, they're making saints of us, and what a difficult job they have.  We've just said yes to God, and we know He will handle everything from here.  I pray you know that, too.




47 comments :

  1. I am so excited for you guys!! The biggest congratulations, and what an amazing post to go along with the best news!!

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  2. Congratulations!!! What a wonderful blessing :) :) :) Praying for you all!

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  3. Congratulations!!! What a wonderful blessing :) :) :) Praying for you all!

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  4. Ahhh congrats Britt!! How fun and special this will be! I am so excited for you :) Someone recently asked me if we were going to have another and I said you never know. They looked horrified and I wondered why people seem so shocked by babies... I am so happy for you and excited to follow along with this pregnancy!

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  5. Replies
    1. Thank you so, so much for your excitement - we are thrilled!

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  6. This is beautiful; you are beatuful; life is beautiful. Congratulations and thank you for sharing all your love!

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  7. What a wonderful way to start my week! (And last week was a REALLY bad week.) I am so happy for you and Jeremy.

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  8. This is such exciting news! Great way to start my week, and I would like to say, that I called it! I told you, you would give us another announcement, hehe :) Many blessings, and thank you for being open and honest. <3

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  9. Britt!!!! Gah! I'm so so so very happy for you and so moved by your love for your children and your openness to life. I pray you have an easy pregnancy! God bless dear!

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    1. Oh! And my 4 year old niece asked me about the baby in my belly a week before I got my first ever positive pregnancy test. ;)

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  10. My kids love those cookies, too!
    CONGRATULATIONS!! What wonderful news! Hope you're feeling well and getting a little bit of rest! ;)

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  11. well written!
    Congratulations.... a new life is a blessing. so happy for you... maybe, I too (and my husband), will have the courage to keep adding souls for Christ.

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  12. Britt! So beautiful! Congratulations on the newest blessing in your life!

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  13. What awesome news! And what an awesome post to share it!

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  14. Such a wonderful way to announce. This is something I can read over and over. So beautiful that you will have another blessing. God is great. Thank you for sharing your love.

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    1. Thank you so much! He really is great, and I have so much to be thankful for!

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  15. So beautiful!! Sharing in your joy today - congratulations!

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  16. Congratulations and such a beautiful post!

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  17. oh my gosh this just made me cry!! CONGRATS MAMA!!! You are such an incredible vessel and I can not wait to meet another sweet baby of yours (online but maybe someday in real life!) I wish you guys all the blessings in the world and will pray for y'all! WOO HOO!!! Heres to more angels!

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  18. Britt this made me cry. I'm so thrilled for you and your family!! My sister and I have been met with negativity every time we announce we're having "another" by sow of the people we love dearest! And what you wrote below is exactly what I wish they could see.
    Congratulations pretty lady!

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  19. What an incredible reflection. And the very best of news. Love you, sweet friend!!

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  20. Congratulations on another beautiful blessing! I am so happy for you! -Jess
    www.sweetlittleonesblog.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Jess! We're thrilled and cannot wait to for November/December!

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  21. Congratulations Britt! So very excited for you. We just added our fifth in December. Yes, we get looks and comments, but much more so before she was born. Now that she's here, she brings joy to everyone, even the people who gasped at the thought of her.

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  22. Congratulations Britt!! I will be praying for you and your little one

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    1. Thank you, Amy!! Your prayers for us mean so much to us! I'm truly blessed by this online community!

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  23. Congratulations to you all!
    What wonderful news!!

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  24. Oh Britt! I'm so happy for your family! You are SUCH a beautiful witness to life. Praying for y'all + the littlest one. <3

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  25. Congratulations!! Another beautiful child that will be lucky to be loved by you and your family!

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    1. Thank you sweet, Lauren!! I'm so anxious to see your new little one!

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  26. Congrats! I've said it before, but I think big families are wonderful, beautiful, and so happy! Of course, saying this as a singleton mom, I get a lot of "you might think differently after #2" which is highly annoying, but oh well. Congrats again!

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    1. Thank you, Emily!! Although I didn't come from one, I agree ;) I bet you will too!

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  27. Woot-woot, the world needs more kids like yours - so sweet! Welcome to the big-arse van club ;)

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  28. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I am soooooo happy for you!
    And I'm so sorry that you are sometimes criticized for having a big family. One of my friends just had her 4th, and she definitely gets rude comments from time to time. I think that's horrible and so sad... Children are a blessing from God!
    I am so happy for you, and I can't wait to continue reading about your family's journey! :) God bless!!!

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  29. Whoop! Another Aggie to the fold. Congrats Fisk Family! (can I hope for a sister for sweet Sophie?)

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  30. I loved where you wrote "these little ones know much more than me...they're much less removed from Heaven, I like to think. And, their joy...their ability to see God in every last detail...teaches me." So true! My friend's oldest has mentioned the "baby growing in mommy's tummy" each time before she ever got the positive pregnancy test.

    We are so excited for you and your (growing) family! I think may share this article when we get preggo with #5. You've articulated my thoughts so clearly. I admire your openness to life. Your willingness to share that yes, it is a difficult road, but one that we cherish and delight in knowing this is where the Lord wants us to be in this moment. Beautiful!

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  31. You already know how I feel about all of this, but your line at the end about how we just say yes and trust God to do the rest, well, that really spoke to me today. So grateful for you and Jeremy and your faithful example!!

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  32. Britt, this is beautiful news beautifully shared. I'm thrilled for you and am already praying for this new little one (and your whole family). Blessings on all of you.

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  33. Congratulations, Britt!! Wonderful news, and such a great post!

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  34. Kids are so intuitive! So happy for your family and think that you are just the BEST mom.

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  35. Such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart and having the courage to say "yes!"
    Congratulations! ♡

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  36. Congratulations, Britt!!! What wonderful news!

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  37. A bit late with my comment, but I've been catching up on my favorite blogs just now and bumped into this wonderful news! Congratulations Britt! What a beautiful journey you are on! I hope your pregnancy goes very well and you will add a healthy and happy addition to your family at the end of this year! I don't know if you ever wrote a post about it, but I was wondering how you manage pregnancy with the care of now 4 kids. I only had 2 kiddos, and although having two very good pregnancies the first few months the second time was pretty challenging. I felt sick, cold and tired all day long but of course still had to take care of my son ;-) How do you do it girl? Love, Daphne

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