Monday, April 20, 2015

Rain, Rain Go Away...

...a song we never sing.

We got our first Spring shower the other evening, and the kids went crazy.  It was like they had never seen rain before.  Honestly, it's not far from the truth.  So, outside we went!

At first I told them they couldn't get wet (mean mom quick response, ha).  So, of course they got as close to getting wet as they could.

 Carter just thought he'd ride his bike through the "storm."

And, Sophie was excited about something new.
 So finally I gave in, and out into the little rain shower they went!

But, Peter quickly was concerned that he might ruin his hat, so he came running back under the porch.

It didn't last long - maybe ten minutes, but every little bit of moisture is a blessing, and the kids are ready for the next shower!  I'm ready for some green grass.

Friday, April 17, 2015

A Blur

In the boys' Easter baskets they each received a little lego-like vehicle to put together - with a lot of help from Dad, for sure :)

Peter, John Paul and Sophie were down for naps, and Carter just wasn't very tired (his naps are becoming fewer and farther between, and that makes me sad), so Jeremy sat down with him to assemble his little jeep.

I, of course, reached for my camera. 

As I watched these moments of Jeremy teaching Carter and Carter so eagerly learning from his daddy, I smiled, and yet my heart ached a tiny bit.  It's a moment that I know will be gone too soon. In essence, that's why I captured it.

As I think back over the last almost five years, we've had four babies.  I've been pregnant for 36 months.  Just as one gets out of diapers, we have another one in them.  When we get used to sleeping through the night, another tiny newborn breaks that cycle.  And, just when I think I've got the hang of something, another thing throws me for a loop.  

Carter, this almost five year old, was just a tiny baby making me a momma almost five years ago.  But guess what, I don't remember it all that well.  Of course I remember holding him as a tiny baby and the complete hospital experience when it went from Jeremy and me to a family of three.  But, I don't remember what he smelled like.  I don't remember the voice that carried his first words and sayings.  I don't remember when he was chubby, nor do I remember many specific moments of the others.

And as I look at Sophie, still unable to walk, with cheeks for miles, I don't want to forget.  I don't want to not be able to recall the moments when she needed me to carry her everywhere.  I don't want to forget the soft baby skin she has or the four-toothed-grin.  So, I take pictures.

But, if I'm honest, they really don't help me remember the reality of them at that age...the picture is simply a still moment captured in the blur.  I cannot always hear them or see them as they were.  Is that how it is supposed to be?

I know I'm probably more emotional that most, and I do realize they will grow, older by the day.  And, deep down, I know that is such a good thing.  Is it just because we've had them so close in age?  Is is because I'm too distracted as a mom?  Or, is it just a part of it?  Does every mom feel like the years are just a blur of intertwined emotions and experiences, making the specifics hard to recall?  If I only had one child would I feel the same?  Or, if I had them multiple years apart, would it be as bad?  Obviously I cannot and would not change a thing.  

Some days I just wish that blur would stop.  I just wish I were able to reach back for those memories and the feelings that accompanied them and smile, instead of looking at pictures and smiling through a bit of pain at how things "used to be."  

I love every moment and stage of these little guys (and girl!), and even if I could, I know keeping them little wouldn't be right.  Sometimes I just need the reminder to live for now, soaking up every minute of these moments of sweetness, because they're gone much too soon.  But, new memories and new moments to forever cherish follow quickly, as long as I'm focused on the now...and not reflecting too much on the blur.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

15/52: And a Quote for Each

Thank goodness I started this little project this year or I may never post blogs at all, ha!  I desperately need to get back into the swing of things!

Carter // 4 - He is always telling me something yet looking for the next thing to talk about.  He's in a stage where he says, "Momma, is it naughty to say this...." and proceeds with something he thinks might be.  Last time it was, "You little meathead!"  Ahh, thank you cartoons.
Peter // 3 - Peter has always been the quietest one.  However, lately, he's taken quite the turn.  The last couple of times we've been out to eat, he's talked it up with everyone around!  In fact, he's even told some people that he loves them "to the back of the moon Jesus" - yep, made it up.
John Paul // 2 - He just wants to be so big, and really, for two, he does keep up with his brothers really well, especially in the talking department, ha!  "Be careful or I'll hit ya on the bobo, hehehe" is his big risky phrase these days - bobo is bottom.

Sophie // 10 months - I don't know if it's the little extra hair or what, but she just seems to change so quickly.  This little sleep sack goes on, and she's got a thumb in her mouth ready to sleep!  The only thing this little miss is saying lately is "hi" "momma" and "dada" - she screams for food!