Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Sleep: How It Works Here


A lot of people ask me "how we do it" in terms of parenting soon-to-be five children ages five and under.  Many people do it.  And, most do it well!  I'm sure it is a combination of things that varies from person to person. 

I've often said that I am blessed to be able to stay home with the kids, and there are days that I don't have to leave our home, and for me, that makes things easier.

I also have the most supportive and helpful husband you can imagine.  He helps in all areas, so that kind of teamwork also adds to the big picture of raising these little ones with out losing our minds or one of them.

I have great support from my nearby family as well.  

All of that said, I think one of the biggest factors in being able to do this (at least for me!) is sleep.  

I know it's a controversial subject these days in parenting circles.  But, honestly, what isn't?  With that said, if you co-sleep, wear your baby, rock them to sleep, etc, that's fine.  It just isn't the way we've chosen to do things, and I can only talk to what has worked for us, so here goes.

We are huge proponents of Babywise and Healthly Sleep Habits, Happy Child.  We have used the methods on all of our children, and all of them have given us a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep at night from the beginning and have reached a 12 hour stretch by 3-4 months.  With this kind of sleep, they've been very happy babies...thus we've been very happy parents!  Seriously, knowing that our children are getting ample rest, and allowing us to refuel as well has made a huge difference in our physical and emotional health as a family.

The premise of the method is that the children learn to self-sooth with a basic schedule of wake, eat, play and sleep on repeat throughout the day.  I don't rock or nurse my babies to sleep.  I swaddle them and give them a pacifier if they need it.  I don't feed my babies on demand.  They are on a schedule (but sometimes that schedule changes!).  And, yes, it allows us the opportunity to be flexible when necessary.  But, it also adds one more element of routine in our lives, and they've all thrived on it.  

Do they occasionally wake up at night?  Sure.  Do they sometimes cry (as babies) for a couple of minutes when I put them down?  Of course!  But, I can tell when they're tired and have confidence in knowing at particular times, they're only fussy because they need more rest.

And, I still get ample opportunity to cuddle them and love them throughout the day!

It's worked for us...and it allows my husband and I time to ourselves and the energy to keep up with these little ones.  Plus, we have well-rested, happy kiddos, and that's worth it all.

How do you make life work with young kids?

12 comments :

  1. My son has put me into so much trouble in this area. When he was 10 mo we decided to try with Healthly Sleep Habits, Happy Child.It gave some results after a week of screaming and crying. The baby finaly went to sleep by himself. Which lasted several weeks after which he started screaming again. We attempted to sleep train him again - always with same results, just the screaming part would increase. So, for us it didn't work because I can handle my baby crying once for several days, or twice. But more then these two times - it was just too much for me. If he accepted sleeping patterns after one or two complete sleep training's I just couldn't handle it any more. Today he is 24 months old and I have really hard time putting him to sleep. He leaves his crib and doesn't want to sleep in bed.I do not judge sleep training parents and wish it will work for my next.

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    1. Oh gosh, Kate. I'm sorry!! I hate that for you. We went through a rough patch when my oldest was 2.5 - I had to hire a sleep consultant because I knew he was exhausted, and the 2-3 months of it (he was getting out of bed multiple times a night - I'm talking like 50 times) were terrible. We finally got it taken care of, but it was hard on everyone! I pray it works for your next, too!!

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  2. I've heard mixed reviews about Babywise - I know a lot of moms who have had serious trouble nursing their babies successfully when they put them on a schedule, because they aren't getting enough stimulation to encourage a decent milk supply, and then their babies have trouble gaining weight. But some babies naturally do well with schedules and have no issues - it's so different with each baby!

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    1. Different moms have different capacity for milk storage in their breasts. And it's not related to breast size. Someone with larger breasts could store less milk than somone with smaller breasts. This is likely why scheduled feedings seem to work for some moms, but not others. Moms with smaller milk storage capacities in their breasts aren't going to be able to go as long between feedings as moms that can store more milk. I'm fairly sure, I have a smaller milk storage capacity and that if I had scheduled feedings, I would have had supply problems. My babies all nursed VERY frequently and I've never been able to pump much at all. But with demand feedings, I was able to breastfeed and my babies all grew well.

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  3. So I've used the baby whisperer for all my babies, and I honestly don't believe you can put a price on how awesome and amazing it is for babies to fall asleep on their own. It's amazing! I've also never let my kids "cry it out" either. Self-soothing is so different than letting a kid cry for hours, and especially when you start from the very beginning it works so much better. My babies don't sleep through the night until after a year, but I can always depend on regular nap time and peaceful bedtimes happening. It makes a world of difference to your sanity. I think that's how I survived 5 kids 5 and under too.

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    1. Loved the Baby Whisperer too!

      Regular nap times are an anchor of my day. As are children who can go to sleep securely and happily on their own. Agreed.

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    2. Christy, I read your blog too :) so I though I would be nice if you wrote about your sleep methods and the baby whisperer for us who haven't read it :)

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  4. We have been very similar in our parenting so far. Good for you for sharing what has worked for your family. There are a lot of people with strong opinions on this topic!:) I had an acquaintance tell me when I had my first child that the man who wrote Babywise "should be arrested." She (bless her heart though) had tons of problems getting her baby to sleep or nap without hours of nursing and work on her part each day. I decided to read the book just because I wanted to do the exact opposite of whatever she was doing! Go figure:)

    I have observed and also experienced that when you wait too long (after 6 months for me) to start doing some gentle "training," then it gets harder exponentially in the getting-babies-to-sleep department. Sleep and rest is a big thing for me--and also for my marriage. I do feed loosely on demand but try to stretch my babies to the next feeding if possible. On demand just hasn't been a problem for me, and I have some other little tricks and habits I think have helped my kids learn to go to sleep happily, securely, and through-the-night by 10 months to a year. There is always the nature-versus-nurture debate with some kids seeming to be born not needing a lot of sleep. I really believe some people are wired to need less sleep. I'm SO incredibly glad that my babies have not been in that group, but I believe mothers and friends who swear their children need less sleep than they do. A mother knows her children best, you know?

    Sorry to share too much! Loved the post. God bless you and your beautiful family!

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  5. Gah - I just checked out ALL of the sleep training books from the library. I always steered away from schedules with little babies for fear of hurting my milk supply, but I am hoping to come up with a good system before we welcome #3 (who is not on its way... haha). We're working on getting the baby to sleep better right now and ohhhh it is such a struggle. But happy well rested babies are so wonderful!

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  6. I loved Babywise and used it with all three of my children. When we brought home our 2-year-old daughter from China, we weren't able to just let her self-soothe. In fact, she already knew how and it wasn't necessarily healthy for her to not to cry - not good for attachment. So, I've had to re-adjust my thinking and be a little patient with her (and myself) as we try to navigate this new parenting adventure! Thankfully, she's slept through the night since we've gotten her.
    -Sarah
    www.sarahefrazer.com

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  7. As a mom of 5 I've had the whole spectrum. 3 were and still are great sleepers, while there seems to be no hope for my other two �� And when you get blessed with a bad sleeper/uber fussy baby it's just the pits in between those cute smiles sans sleep and naps! ��

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