Two Become One...

Last week at our branding, I captured this shot of my parents.  I didn't include it in the branding post because I thought it deserved its own.

Mom and Dad are the epitome of two becoming one.  They do everything together.  By everything, I mean live, work, relax, vacation, teach, etc.  Sure, each has their own little things to do (ie, Mom does the majority of the house/yard upkeep and Dad is Mr. Fix-It), but for the most part, there isn't anything they don't share with each other.

My parents are one in the same in many ways.  When one offers to teach the Church's two-year confirmation class, the other jumps on board.  When one expands the yard, the other mows it.  When one needs to visit a lonely family member, they go together.  Mom and Dad don't live two separate lives under the same roof.  They don't need to 'just get away' from each other for a bit.  They haven't complied with the worldly standard of "never lose yourself" and "make time for you."  Neither have they lived by the mantra of, "do what's best for you; put yourself first; you deserve it."  Contradicting the self-help, me-first code of worldly standards, they have lost themselves.  "How sad," some might say.  I, on the other hand, say, "Thank you."

You see, having been married over thirty years, my mom has "lost" a bit of herself, and my dad has, too.  But what they have gained is far better than anything lost.  They know each other...I mean, really know each other.  They find peace, love, understanding and support in the other.  They have gained/kept the love of a spouse in exchange for a dose of selflessness.  They have God and each other, and they have given my siblings and I an example for marriage that few are blessed with. 

What that example has taught me is this:

When married, you leave your family and cling to your spouse.  You go to each other first.  You find new interests together, those which bring you closer instead of driving you apart.  And, if an interest cannot be shared, it isn't worth having.  You quickly forgive and move on.  You pray together.   You truly become one.

Mom and Dad chose a life in which they could work together, day in and day out.  It takes both of them, and the gifts they've been given, to run the ranch and the home.  A day's work doesn't include travel in which my mom cannot go with my dad or office situations one would rather not find themselves in.  Instead, they weather the ups and downs side by side.  Their way of life cannot be lived successfully with each running in opposite directions...instead, it requires them to be a team.

That professional life drifts to their personal live and vice versa.  One rarely sees one of my parents without the other.  Their greatest interest is not a hobby, a TV show, a trip or an indulgence...it is the other.  Yes, they have friends and relationships with their families that are fruitful, but the only one they ultimately need beside God is each other.

For that, no thank-you ever seems adequate, but as I raise children now with my soul mate, my prayer is that Mom and Dad's example becomes my life.  It is because of that desire that we left the potential for more "lucrative" jobs and a different life.  We came to the ranch knowing our lives would be simpler, our family closer and our hearts fuller. 

With any path one chooses, trials abound, but with each other hand in hand, we're trying to leave a similar example for our children: when two become one, with the ultimate gift of self, you truly are doing "what's best for YOU."